7 Reasons Why Millennials Are Gentle Parenting

In my work with millennials, I've witnessed a big shift in how this generation approaches traditional norms. From careers to parenting, millennials are rewriting the rules. And nowhere is this more evident than in the way they nurture the next generation.

Gentle parenting is gaining popularity among millennials, setting them apart from the parenting practices of earlier generations. But what exactly is gentle parenting?

What is gentle parenting?

The goal of gentle parenting is to raise the next generation with empathy, understanding, and compassion. It’s deeply aligned with the core principles of inner child work[or1]  and acknowledges the importance of our emotional health during childhood. 

One 29-year-old mother, practicing gentle parenting with her 7-year-old daughter, captures this idea perfectly. When asked why she prefers gentle parenting over other parenting methods, she shared:

"Because of past experiences with ‘toxic’ caregivers, people are more conscious of their feelings and more willing to admit when something is not okay. Our parents often did their best, but a lot of their actions weren't emotionally conscious.”

For many millennials, gentle parenting is a collective, conscious effort to nurture a healthier emotional future for the next generation.

What are parenting styles?

The choices our parents make in raising us as children can have lasting effects on our development, relationships, and overall well-being well into adulthood. 

Let’s take a closer look at each style:

Authoritative Parenting:

• Sets clear rules and boundaries

• Responsive and nurturing

• Maintains a high level of control

Permissive Parenting:

• Highly nurturing and responsive 

• Few rules and boundaries

• Parents may be seen as too “laid back”

Authoritarian Parenting:

• Strict rules and high demands

• Limited warmth or responsiveness

• Controlling

Uninvolved Parenting:

• Disengaged and neglectful

• Typically lacks emotional and physical involvement

• Less attentive than gentle parenting

As more people adopt gentle parenting, millennials are teaching kids to understand their emotions and handle them in a healthy way.

Why are millennials shifting to gentle parenting?

1. Millennials prioritize emotional well-being and mental health.

Gentle parenting emphasizes emotional connections that allow for autonomy, healthy boundary setting, and open communication. Millennials value prioritizing their emotional well-being more than previous generations that were less focused on emotional health.

2.  Millennials have more access to information and online resources than previous generations.

Millennials can now easily learn about gentle parenting through channels that were not available for earlier generations.Think social media like Instagram, Facebook, and even Myspace (for those of you that remember!) 

The internet and technology has made it more accessible for millennials to find resources and a community for guidance.

3.  Millennials are shifting away from traditional parenting styles. 

Many millennials that grew up with traditional or authoritarian parents themselves, understand the challenges that can come with a strict upbringing. They want to break the cycle of rigid parenting styles that leave negative impacts on us as adults.

4. Millennials are healing their inner child.

Certain parenting styles, marked by strictness, emotional detachment, or neglect, can cause emotional wounds that linger and impact us well into adulthood. These experiences drive many millennials to start their journey of inner child healing. 

Inner child work is a process where we work to overcome the effects of less supportive or nurturing parenting styles on our emotional well-being. During inner child work we work to address and unpack our inner child wounds.

5.  Millennials are breaking the cycle of intergenerational trauma.

Intergenerational trauma hits home for many millennials. Some of us carry the tough experiences passed down through our families – things like war, poverty, discrimination, and other struggles that have persisted across generations. 

Ultimately, coping with intergenerational trauma requires patience and self-compassion. 

It is a process that takes time and effort, but with the right support and resources, millennials are working to heal from intergenerational trauma and create a brighter future for themselves and future generations.

6. Millennials are seeking greater fulfillment.  

The ideas of gentle parenting resonate with millennials who are actively seeking purpose and fulfillment. 

Gentle parenting's focus on understanding and emotional connection fits in perfectly with their desire for fulfillment that goes beyond traditional success measures. 

By prioritizing emotional well-being, gentle parenting acknowledges the essential needs of the inner child—acknowledgment and safety.

7.  Millennials are a generation of progressive and value driven individuals.

Millennials are forward-thinkers that value emotional well-being, autonomy, and empathy. 

They want to prioritize creating an environment where their future generations feel seen, heard, and understood. This is a shift away from more authoritarian or uninvolved approaches that many of us may have experienced in our childhood that impact how we behave today. 

Millennials are shaping a compassionate future

Millennials are actively participating in the process of tending to their own inner child rather than just taking on a parenting style. 

They recognize the emotional scars left by less supportive parenting practices. Gentle parenting is an expression of freeing ourselves from passed down trauma, reshaping our emotional environment, and building resilience for next generations.

We are choosing something different than the status quo and unhelpful practices. 

Millennials are adopting gentle parenting because traditional ways may not have given them the warm and supportive experience needed to develop healthy behaviors as adults. 

This parenting style is about connecting emotionally, letting children have a say, and using positive ways to guide them. It welcomes a middle ground that feels just right for both parents and kids. 

So, as millennials step into parenthood, they're choosing a more understanding and supportive approach, setting aside the old, strict ways of doing things.

I'd love to hear about your thoughts and experiences with these different parenting styles. Do any of them resemble what your parents or caregivers used? Was it helpful?

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